As a parenting coach, I focus on helping parents decode what their kids are really asking for beneath the surface. More often than not, it comes down to two things that sound alike but couldn’t be more different:
Being seen and feeling safe.
That is the essential difference between the Sun and the Moon.
Your child’s Sun is their core self. It's the part that wants to be recognized, celebrated, and reflected back. It’s who they’re becoming. This energy grows through moments of pride and effort, like when you say, “I love how you tried that with all your might,” or “You really showed true courage there, I saw it and was impressed.”
Conversely, your child’s Moon is their inner comfort zone. This is the part that wants to retreat, refuel, and be held. It’s who they already are when the world feels too big. The Moon softens through reassurance, like when you say, “You don’t have to explain right now,” or “I’m right here, no matter what.”
Now here’s where astrology makes this practical: When you know where your child’s Sun and Moon fall, you start to see what kind of recognition and comfort truly land for them.
A Leo Sun lights up when you notice their creativity -- they need to feel admired, not managed.
A Virgo Sun glows when their effort is appreciated -- they need to hear that you see their care and precision.
A Cancer Moon feels safest with softness and routine -- they need quiet presence more than pep talks.
An Aquarius Moon relaxes when given space to process -- they need trust, not pressure.
These subtle distinctions shift everything. It's exactly why the same tactics that work for one sibling might fail for another - or why what you read in some parenting books / methods fall flat when your child is both sobbing AND pushing you away. Because once you know the precise energy behind how your child feels seen and how they feel safe, you stop guessing what they need. You start meeting them right where they are.
I go much deeper into this in my forthcoming book, Astroddlergy Foundations. But for now, try this: Next time your child’s upset, ask yourself, do they need to feel seen, or do they need to feel safe?
That one question will change how you connect. And how they receive what it is you're offering.
As a parenting coach, I focus on helping parents decode what their kids are really asking for beneath the surface. More often than not, it comes down to two things that sound alike but couldn’t be more different:
Being seen and feeling safe.
That is the essential difference between the Sun and the Moon.
Your child’s Sun is their core self. It's the part that wants to be recognized, celebrated, and reflected back. It’s who they’re becoming. This energy grows through moments of pride and effort, like when you say, “I love how you tried that with all your might,” or “You really showed true courage there, I saw it and was impressed.”
Conversely, your child’s Moon is their inner comfort zone. This is the part that wants to retreat, refuel, and be held. It’s who they already are when the world feels too big. The Moon softens through reassurance, like when you say, “You don’t have to explain right now,” or “I’m right here, no matter what.”
Now here’s where astrology makes this practical: When you know where your child’s Sun and Moon fall, you start to see what kind of recognition and comfort truly land for them.
A Leo Sun lights up when you notice their creativity -- they need to feel admired, not managed.
A Virgo Sun glows when their effort is appreciated -- they need to hear that you see their care and precision.
A Cancer Moon feels safest with softness and routine -- they need quiet presence more than pep talks.
An Aquarius Moon relaxes when given space to process -- they need trust, not pressure.
These subtle distinctions shift everything. It's exactly why the same tactics that work for one sibling might fail for another - or why what you read in some parenting books / methods fall flat when your child is both sobbing AND pushing you away. Because once you know the precise energy behind how your child feels seen and how they feel safe, you stop guessing what they need. You start meeting them right where they are.
I go much deeper into this in my forthcoming book, Astroddlergy Foundations. But for now, try this: Next time your child’s upset, ask yourself, do they need to feel seen, or do they need to feel safe?
That one question will change how you connect. And how they receive what it is you're offering.